Petition for Facebook to add a “Lick” button.

Many times when I am Facebook, I think to myself what I’d rather be doing. It’s a guilty pleasure to cruise the internet and be seen. As much as Facebook is a family-friendly medium for social networking, it is also a prime location for dating, in the right circle of friends. But Facebook is a social lubricant only as far as its “Like” buttons are a mildly verbal gesture of approval. Not all users of Facebook are really flattered by the like button; some would rather prefer a baser animal gesture- the “Lick.” Dogs lick, and lick often. There is lots of tolerance with animals who lick, but not a whole lot amongst the Facebook variety. Licking is a gesture of goodwill and enzymatic activism. It is an underrated and often overlooked act of kindness that shouldn’t be relegated to taboo acts under the table. It’s also a warm gesture in times of loneliness. There is no risk of digital drool causing any contagious transmissions, although it would be morally appropriate to keep the lick button away from persons under the age of 18 and towards family members. This lick button is not to be confused with the old slang meaning of “lick” or “licking,” but rather, casual to extremely intimate licking. Feel free to “lick” or “like” this post, if the option was even available. In the mean time, you can set up a petition on Facebook here:

The reason there hasn’t been a major obscenity trial in the United States since George Carlin in the 1970s isn’t because obscenity is tolerated more today; it’s because there hasn’t been a major challenge to existing obscenity and decency laws in a long time. I seek to change that.



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