County Grammar

There is a new sentencing guideline being adopted in pilot jurisdictions in the United States. The judicial branch in America has a history of adopting some “experimental” court systems such as the drug courts for rehabilitative programs instead of criminal proceedings. Progressive attorneys have expanded upon this practice in suggesting alternatives to mandatory minimum sentencing. Mandatory minimum sentencing has been reformed in some court systems that have given offenders a chance to repent themselves prior to sentenced jail or prison time. One of the more rigid or co-evolved alternatives has been the “three-strikes rule,” which likens offenders to baseball athletes who are simply not learning the strategies or crafts of an agile pitcher. Other alternatives have rejected strike-outs altogether and opted for  a recovery and detoxification program. Progressive attorneys pushing the envelope have introduced a third program in the American penile system: alliterative assonance. Alliterative assonance digs deeper at the root of the correctional approach by avoiding consonance-ridden mandatory minimums such as “due diligence” and “correctional contingencies” more commonly known as “parole”. Alliterative assonance adopts civil law found in European and Louisiana in contrast to common law which  adopts a one-size fits all approach at punishing offenders. Alliterative assonance relies on other characteristics of an offense- the vowels, which represent sublime, perennial intents and psychoanalysis and therapy rather than the consonants, which are solidly a worldly and mortal matter, less relevant to the grander and permanent record of human civilization. This is based on the vulgar hypothesis that, if one can tolerate the ass  of a sonance, then, one could, in theory, reform a con from a sonance, which is less serious than an con, and possibly from the same family.

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