Piano Man, as reimagined by a comedian

Piano Man Lyrics

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Makin’ love to his tonic and gin

He says, “Son, can you play me a memory
I’m not really sure how it goes
But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man’s clothes.”

La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Joke us a joke, you’re the Riddler, man
Joke us a joke tonight
Well, we’re all in the mood for a enigma
And you’ve got us feelin’ alright

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he’s quick with a song or to light up your smoke
But there’s someplace that he’d rather be
He says, “Bill, I believe this is killing me.”
As the smile ran away from his face
“Well I’m sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he’s talkin’ with Davy, who’s still in the Navy
And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practising politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they’re sharing a joke they call loneliness
But it’s better than jokin’ alone
Joke us a joke you’re the Riddler, man
Joke us a joke tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for a enigma
And you got us feeling alright

It’s a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
‘Cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been comin’ to see
To forget about life for a while
And the jokebox, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a deer
And they sit at the bar and put jokes in my jar
And say, “Man, what are you doin’ here?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Joke us a joke you’re the Riddler, man
Joke us a joke tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for an enigma
And you got us feeling alright

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