When you’re 31, I’ll be 36. When you’re my age today maybe you’ll feel the same loneliness I feel sometimes, maybe not.

When I’m 41, you’ll be 36. I don’t know know how I’ll feel when I’m 36, so I can’t say how you’ll feel then.

When you’re my age, I think sometimes that you should know what I’m going through, but then again, maybe you haven’t.

I also probably don’t understand everything you’ve gone through, and I need to trust you more. Someone I knew, who would never talk to me again, once said something that remains extremely valuable to me. We choose how we live our lives. If I want to add spin or snark, then I should know that it affects how people perceive me- in that I’m not easily able to place much trust in others, because I’ve been unhappy with rejection in the past. I still feel people take advantage of this lack of ability to understand- if they can’t understand in five minutes, they feel they’re not up to the task, and reason there’s probably someone else out there better for that person. Is that person speaking from experience? Does that person do the same in their own relationship, if they are even in one? Would someone go so far as to really try to understand their partner if they wanted to be sure they are really in love with the right person?

Because not everyone is prepared for a breakup, and it tends to linger like a tame horse. People aren’t all lazy or or evil when it comes to relationships, but experience is a Catch-22 and people who really want love badly should try to learn as much as they can whenever they can and as often as they can, and not just one of the three. There is a difference between forced efforts and committed. Committed relationships require dedication. Forced relationships involve unequal or one-sided interest. The second type should be avoided as much as possible and as early as possible. For whatever reason , this second type seems to linger when people try to gracefully and gradually wean someone off. Grace is fine, but gradual weaning can actually be worse than shorter, but more frequent symbolic farewells. I resist to believe this is my current case, but we can’t choose who we meet after we get to know them a little more until we determine whether or not we like them anymore. At that point, we are still stuck with the things we used to like, and we have to decide if there is the potential to like again. I have to evaluate whether anything imagined could actually become true, at least something resembling that, because reality has never been such a one-sided entity. Reality is shared to the extent it is enjoyed, and obviously, some people are less able to meet obligations and semi-regular contact than others. The problem, however is also the self-opinion contrasted with the significant other’s opinions. While there’s nothing wrong with having a high impression of oneself, the disparity in status or obliviousness to other people’s feelings can eclipse the solipsistic entitlement, compromising the weak bonds of tolerance and trust. It’s really too bad when great, like-minded individuals can’t recognize how compatible they are if only they weren’t self centered. If this were really true, this would happen somewhat often (unless great people are few and far between) and great people would recognize their problems and correct themselves, and be together. Or, they might live alone, wandering in the same solar system, millions of miles away.


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