Piano Man, as reimagined by a comedian

Piano Man Lyrics

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Makin’ love to his tonic and gin

He says, “Son, can you play me a memory
I’m not really sure how it goes
But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man’s clothes.”

La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Joke us a joke, you’re the Riddler, man
Joke us a joke tonight
Well, we’re all in the mood for a enigma
And you’ve got us feelin’ alright

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he’s quick with a song or to light up your smoke
But there’s someplace that he’d rather be
He says, “Bill, I believe this is killing me.”
As the smile ran away from his face
“Well I’m sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he’s talkin’ with Davy, who’s still in the Navy
And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practising politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they’re sharing a joke they call loneliness
But it’s better than jokin’ alone
Joke us a joke you’re the Riddler, man
Joke us a joke tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for a enigma
And you got us feeling alright

It’s a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
‘Cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been comin’ to see
To forget about life for a while
And the jokebox, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a deer
And they sit at the bar and put jokes in my jar
And say, “Man, what are you doin’ here?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Joke us a joke you’re the Riddler, man
Joke us a joke tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for an enigma
And you got us feeling alright

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Economists predict Miley Cyrus will remain hot until 2021.

Economists at Moody’s credit rating agency have made projections for 2016 and then next five years regarding Miley Cyrus’s hotness. While Miley Cyrus remains internationally popular and admired, to say the least, they predict her hotness will slightly dip in 2021, where she will be in her late 20s. While many Hollywood actresses and musicians have been rated hot well into their 40s such as Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct 2, Miley Cyrus’s hotness and her decline may be due not to her own aging but to the emerging attention deficit of the millenial generation. Her most popular fans- not the baby boomers but the Generation Y and Zs, will age alongside her and potentially develop, if left untreated, dementia and amnesia. Thus, The Alzheimer’s foundation of America has contributed funds to pop culture researchers who will be the record keepers of contemporary hotness in 2016, so that they can present the results and archived documents at a presentation tentatively scheduled for 2021- a global summit on climate and human hotness. They will compare popular celebrities that year, and remind others who was hot in 2016. Moody’s backed up the Alzheimer’s investment with a triple A rating.

Pop music for the masses

Pop may be, by definition, intended for accessible, and thus popular audiences, but making doubling up on pop research could make it more appealing to more subcultures. Most other genres are too masochistic in their own way to be appealing to other subcultures, but pop is admittedly, one of the few genres that has the potential to appeal to even the most elitist music-lovers. The method of reaching the upper echelons of masochists is to distill pop to five sigma, a physics term for five standard deviations away from a base measurement, which meets some of the strictest criteria for virtually any musical genre. Naturally, this includes metal lovers, industrial/prog rock, hip hop, and even classical.

 

Update: Was there a primary reason that caused me to write this post? Yes. I was listening to Vengaboys (Party Album). Europop.

Mirah- “The Dogs of Buenos Aires”

“I hung myself out on the line

Beneath an argentina skyAnd i expected there to dry

Beneath the argentina sky

Upon the rooftop here so high

Beneath the argentina sky

The storm did call me to its side

Beneath the argentina sky
And the dogs of buenos aires they will take you from your sleep

Between the firecrackers cackling and the taxis in the street

And if you wake up lonely better throw some shoes upon those feet

To keep the heartbreak from taking your life
Once i had planned to be your bride

Before this argentina sky

Now i just tend my wounded pride

Under this argentina sky

Now i want the rain to fall into my eyes

From this argentina sky

The thunder to match my anguished cries

Beneath this argentina sky
I looked into the darkening and while the air did chill

I knew that though i’m here in exile that you should love me still

And when the rain began to pound i lifted up my face untilI was soaked with the ache of the sky
Spanish talks :
ELLA HACÍA EL LAVADO EN LA TERRAZA,she was washing the clothes at the rooftop,MIENTRAS EL SOL LE QUEMABA LA ESPALDA.while the sun was burning her back.ELLA INTENTABA FREGAR EL SUDOR DE SU DESCONSUELO,she was trying to wash out the sweat of her grief,ESCURRIR LAS LÁGRIMAS.drain her tears.PERO ANTES DE QUE LA TAREA ESTUVIERA TERMINADA,but before the work was done,LA ROPA TODAVÍA DOLIENTE EN LA SOGA,clothes still aching on the rope,BAJÓ DESDE EL DELTA UN VIENTO PODEROSO,from the Delta came down a powerful wind,Y LAS NUBES SE CARGARON A LO LAARGO DEL CIELO.and the clouds got loaded all through the sky."¡RÁPIDO, ADENTRO! ¡CERRAD LAS VENTANAS! ¡VIENE UNA TORMENTA!"quickly, get in! close the windows! there’s a storm moving in!¡SACA TU ROPA DE LA SOGA!"take out your clothes from the rope!"
So many tears could make me blind

Beneath this argentina skyBut still my love for you i can’t deny

Even under argentina’s skiesI’ll seek until a path to you i find

Under these argentina skies

When will you take me back insideFrom under argentina’s skies

I looked into the darkening and while the air did chill

I knew that though i’m here in exile that you should love me still

And when the rain began to pound i lifted up my face untilI was soaked with the ache of the sky

When will you take me back insideFrom under these argentine skies?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBWKXvrGdk0